Ippon's Solution to Tired Engineers
Welcome to the Future of Coffee Automation
We’ve all been there. You’ve been on a marathon coding session, trying to finish up that one feature before the end of the sprint when you hit a wall. You’re too tired to continue and even too tired to walk over to the coffee machine to brew another pot.
The idea of scooping the coffee into the machine and operating its arcane controls just seems like an insurmountable task. So you just give up and crawl under your desk.
But what if things could be different…
WHAT IF your coffee pot could detect when your code quality is starting to dip.
WHAT IF coffee would start brewing the second you wrote that branching, triple-nested loop of spaghetti?
WHAT IF your computer would just tell you to put down the keyboard and pick up the mug?
Well that day is here!
Ippon USA in partnership with the International Coffee Growers Federation of the World and the #PickUpTheMug Foundation, would like to introduce:
Logo is Property of Ippon Technologies USA
Brew() is a turn-key, off-the-shelf, synergistic, integrated, all-in-one, cloud-connected, enterprise-ready, secure, IoT-ready, mobile-friendly, Java-based solution designed with coffee-loving engineers in mind!
What is Brew()?
Brew is an integration between your IDE, your smart home hub and your coffee machine!
What does Brew() do?
Brew detects when you start writing crappy code, brews you some coffee, and empowers you to PUT DOWN THE KEYBOARD AND PICK UP THE MUG!
Why should I use Brew()?
Because let’s face it, when you’re tired… YOUR CODE SUCKS!
How does Brew() work?
Brew uses a patented algorithm to determine the quality of your code. When you set up Brew(), you determine a CC(Crapiness Coefficient) threshold. If your code’s crapiness ever crosses this threshold, the IDE(Featured IDE: IntelliJ IDEA by Jetbrains) will automatically initiate coffee brewing on your linked smart coffee device!
Automated IDE Notifications!
Photo is Property of Ippon Technologies USA
What happens next?
Brew leverages open source technologies such as IFTTT and smart coffee integrated devices to automate your coffee workflow!
Why did we create brew()?
Because we love our Richmond, VA community and we want to give back!
We love Richmond!
So what are you waiting for?